Dysfunctional Churches?
Monday, February 20th, 2006
Dysfunctional churches? That sounds like an oxymoron doesn’t it. Churches are supposed to be a place for the hurting, broken and searching to go to for rest and healing aren’t they? I mean if you can’t find comfort in a church where can you find it? This is a question asked by those who have been emotionally, spiritually and sometimes even physically abused by those in church leadership. For most victims of abuse, church becomes nothing more than a hurtful memory. Many even reject God altogether believing that the abusers are true representatives of the god they claim to serve so they want nothing to do with a god whose servants hurt people.
When does a church cross over the line from a conventional church to a “fringe-church” status? What is the nature of the process by which any given group shifts into a fringe church or movement? What are the signs or indicators that a given group is becoming abusive of its members and is headed for the edge? When should a member consider bailing out? These are many of the questions that I sought answers for when I discovered that spiritual abuse doesn’t only happen in dangerous religious groups and that mainstream evangelical Christian churches are not immune to the abuses that plague groups we would consider to be cults. I have been amazed at how many Christians I have met in recent years who claim that they have been abused by those who are in leadership positions in evangelical churches.
But what exactly constitutes abuse anyway? What I mean is, I’ve also met Christians who claim that they were abused by churches just because the church would not allow them to ’speak in tongues’ during the service or publicly question and rebuke the pastor during his sermon. Is this abuse? What about a member who wants to host a small group Bible study in their home on a weeknight using a study guide published by a well known and respected evangelical ministry but is told by the church leadership that they can’t do that because it’s not ‘approved’ by the leadership and they are not ‘qualified’ to lead a small group Bible study in their home? Is this abuse?
To answer these questions and many more related to this topic I went back to a book on my bookshelf that I had read when it was first published in 1992 called Churches That Abuse by Ronald M. Enroth. On the back cover of this book we read, ” “Fringe” churches and religious groups often manifest sociological and psychological traits that can only be called “abusive”: control-oriented leadership, spiritual elitism, manipulation of members, suppression of dissent, harsh discipline, perceived persecution, to name a few.” I also reread Twisted Scriptures by Mary Alice Chrnalogar and Toxic Faith by Stephen Arturburn and Jack Felton. I had thought that these were the only books on this subject since evangelicals don’t want to admit that it is possible for good churches to go bad. I soon discovered however that there is much more help for the hurting available then I had previously thought. I wrote to Ron Enroth asking him if there was any other material available other than the three books I already had. He directed me to his follow-up book called Recovering From Churches That Abuse as well as The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen and Healing Spiritual Abuse: How To Break Free From Bad Church Experiences by Ken Blue. After a search on the internet, I was encouraged to find many more resources for hurting Christians.
The following is called Dysfunctional Churches and was written by Ronald Enroth and originally published in the 1992, Volume 9, No. 4 issue of Cult Observer:
Dysfunctional Churches
It is common practice for churchgoers in American society to refer to their own congregation as their “church family.” Students away at college make reference to their “home church.” Church people sing hymns about being part of “the family of God.” Parents often employ family imagery to convey spiritual content to their children.
As behavioral scientists remind us all too often, that most basic of social institutions—the family—is increasingly subject to frailty and failure. The label that is currently popular for unhealthy families is “dysfunctional.” Unfortunately, sociologists of religion (as well as many ex‑members) know that some churches are also dysfunctional, even to the point of being spiritually abusive. If truth in advertising standards could be applied to religion, some churches would be required to display a sign reading: “Warning: this church could be harmful to your spiritual and psychological health.”
Farfetched? Not if my own research of the past few years has any validity at all. Sadly, spiritual and pastoral abuse is more prevalent than most people believe. Like child abuse, it often goes undetected, or else it is strongly denied. Spiritual abuse is inflicted by persons who are accorded respect and honor in society by virtue of their positions of religious authority and leadership. When such leaders violate the sacred trust they have been given, when they abuse their authority, and when they misuse their ecclesiastical office to control their congregations, the results can be catastrophic.
What are the hallmarks of unhealthy, aberrant churches? The key indicator is control‑oriented leadership, ministers who have a need to “lord it over the flock.” Abusive leaders demand submission and unquestioning loyalty. The person who raises uncomfortable questions or does not “get with the program” is cast aside. Guilt, fear, and intimidation are used to manipulate and control vulnerable members, especially those who have been taught to believe that questioning their pastor is comparable to questioning God.
Why does a pastor or priest sometimes turn into a spiritual tyrant? I believe it is because of the human desire to control others and to exercise power over people. Each of us has been exposed to the temptation of power, whether in the role of spouse, teacher, or parent. An excessive will to power, coupled with sincere religious motives, can lead to the misuse of spiritual authority.
More than any other age group, young adults are attracted to abusive churches, their seemingly dynamic programs, and their “take charge” leaders. Such churches often target young couples during the crucial child‑bearing years. As a result, the energy needed by these young couples for legitimate family interaction is siphoned off into a high intensity cause. Family obligations are sacrificed, and children’s developmental needs are neglected.
How can we recognize a healthy church? In addition to matters of appropriate doctrine, a healthy church is reconciling and restorative, not adversarial and elitist. Members of healthy churches seek to deepen and strengthen their family commitments. Legitimate leaders will welcome dissent and hard questions from members without threat of reprisal. Trustworthy leaders will encourage accountability, and they will establish checks and balances.
Choose a church carefully and prayerfully. Remember, not all religion is benign, and not all church experience is beneficial.
Ronald M. Enroth is a leading scholar and national resource on cults and cultism. His perspectives are heartily welcomed by both the secular and religious society. He is professor of sociology at Westmont College and the author of many books on the cults and the new religions, including The Lure of The Cults & New Religions and Evangelizing the Cults.
Recommended Reading:
Churches That Abuse by Ronald M. Enroth. Ronald Enroth’s research and writings on cults, sects, and religious aberrations over many years have gained him a national reputation as an authority on unconventional religion. Here he describes hoe the troublesome traits are expressed, not hesitating to name names. Here also is help for victime who have found their way out and for people who work with them to put their lives back together.
Recovering From Churches That Abuse by Ronald M. Enroth. This book will help the victims of spiritual abuse and their families cope with reentry into the Christian mainstream, and it will prove invaluable to counselors and pastors who are helping these people to find their way. Specific topics, presented through the narrative style of the book, include dispelling emotional confusion, restoring relationships, regaining independence and making other life adjustments, coping with disorientation, returning to reality, and renewing a wholesome personal relationship with God.
Toxic Faith by Stephen Arterburn and Jack Felton. Toxic Faith distinguishes between a healthy faith and a misguided religiosity that traps believers in an addictive practice of religion. It shows how unbalanced ministries, misguided churches, and unscrupulous leaders can lead their followers away from God and into a desolate experience of religion that drives many to despair. Toxic Faith shows readers how to find hope for a return to genuine, healthy faith that can add meaning to life.
Twisted Scriptures by Mary Alice Chrnalogar. Twisted Scriptures: A Path To Freedom From Abusive Churches shows readers how to tell when churches are suppressing freedom of speech, intimidating followers, and distorting the Bible. Twisted Scriptures is invaluable as a self-help guide and as a tool for families and friends to free loved ones from destructive groups.
The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen. Churches are meant to be safe places where spiritual leaders help and equip the members for the work of service. There are some churches, however, where leaders use their spiritual authority to control and dominate others, attempting to meet their own needs for importance, power, intimacy or spiritual gratification. Through the subtle use of the right “spiritual” words, church members are manipulated or shamed into certain behaviors or performance that ensnares in legalism, guilt and begrudging service.
Healing Spiritual Abuse: How to Break Free From Bad Church Experiences by Ken Blue. Even though church leaders are supposed to be servants to the body of Christ, some use their positions to dominate. They refuse to allow any questions concerning their teachings and demand total surrender to their authority. This book helps victims of such spiritual abuse to heal, and shows Christian leaders how to avoid abusive patterns.
Online Resources:
